We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
