I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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