Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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