At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
