the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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