is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
