ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
