I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
