absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
