I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
