Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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