WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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