it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You made out with two different species that night
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
