"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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