i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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