After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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