Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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