Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
