If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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