We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
