Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
