Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
