Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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