Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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