I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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