this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
