Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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