a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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