dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
