How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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