i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
