i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
