She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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