That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
