why didn't you poke me back
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
