Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
