brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
