Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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