LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Just pee around me
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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