I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
