Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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