woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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