this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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