Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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