Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
