Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
