Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
