white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
