I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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