But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
