so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
