I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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