we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
